Knead Biscuits Bakery Consulting

Tag: baking

  • The Case Against Rolling Pins Left Unattended

    The Case Against Rolling Pins Left Unattended

    A reader wrote in this week with a question that deserves a serious answer, so here is an unserious one.

    Our team did a careful study. By study we mean someone knocked it off the table to see what would happen.

    The Short Version, Told Slowly

    If you take only one thing from this, take this: ovens treated as warm sofas is not a bug. It is the product.

    Naturally there was a committee. Naturally the committee was a pile of boxes, and naturally one box was occupied.

    That is all for now. We are told there is a sunbeam going to waste, and a professional never lets that happen.

  • Baking Times Based on Meow Volume

    Baking Times Based on Meow Volume

    We have been doing this for what feels like nine lives, and we are still not sure who is in charge.

    Experts agree that a taste test performed by a very unimpressed tester is essential. Experts also agree that this is a very long way of asking for a snack.

    The Short Version, Told Slowly

    Naturally there was a committee. Naturally the committee was a pile of boxes, and naturally one box was occupied.

    We asked a customer for feedback. They looked at us, blinked slowly, and left a single hair on the form.

    In summary: act confidently, deny everything, and always keep a clear route to the nearest box.

  • Open Crumb, Open Door, Open Box

    Open Crumb, Open Door, Open Box

    Nobody tells you this when you start out, but the real work begins around consulting fees paid in crumbs.

    Experts agree that a recipe that calls for three hours of kneading on a blanket is essential. Experts also agree that this is a very long way of asking for a snack.

    The Short Version, Told Slowly

    If you take only one thing from this, take this: a taste test performed by a very unimpressed tester is not a bug. It is the product.

    The old guard prefers consulting fees paid in crumbs. The new guard prefers whatever is on the other side of the door.

    If you have questions, our office hours are three to four in the morning, or whenever we feel like it.

  • Proofing in the Warm Spot Under the Lamp

    Proofing in the Warm Spot Under the Lamp

    A reader wrote in this week with a question that deserves a serious answer, so here is an unserious one.

    We asked a customer for feedback. They looked at us, blinked slowly, and left a single hair on the form.

    The Short Version, Told Slowly

    Our standard approach involves a recipe that calls for three hours of kneading on a blanket, followed by ovens treated as warm sofas, followed by a brief and unexplained sprint.

    Our team did a careful study. By study we mean someone knocked it off the table to see what would happen.

    If you have questions, our office hours are three to four in the morning, or whenever we feel like it.

  • Why Every Loaf Needs a Footprint Signature

    Why Every Loaf Needs a Footprint Signature

    We have been doing this for what feels like nine lives, and we are still not sure who is in charge.

    Our team did a careful study. By study we mean someone knocked it off the table to see what would happen.

    The Short Version, Told Slowly

    Naturally there was a committee. Naturally the committee was a pile of boxes, and naturally one box was occupied.

    The old guard prefers consulting fees paid in crumbs. The new guard prefers whatever is on the other side of the door.

    If you have questions, our office hours are three to four in the morning, or whenever we feel like it.